Doing your best doesn't have to be good.

We live in a society that holds us to exceptionally high standards. It demands perfection in every area of our lives, but doesn’t provide us with the tools we need to succeed. Then, it pushes us to compare ourselves with those who’ve made it, supposedly meaning to motivate us to do better.

Some of us might be prone to fall for that trap more than others. Those might let the rat race take control over their life and let themselves be driven by the sickening desire to succeed. Suddenly, their actions are motivated by the hope of being rewarded rather than finding satisfaction in self-improvement. But when the long-awaited success comes their way and there’s nothing else to look forward to, their purpose in life might vanish. And if they never reach their goal, their perception of themselves might crumble under the pressure society puts upon them, likely leading to self-destruction. However, the fault for either of those scenarios lies not in the individual but in the society alone, and those who succumb to the glamorous portrayal of success are most often victims of capitalism who deserve support rather than being singled out.

Personally, I often feel like I’ve fallen behind, as if I should be further along in life than I am. I’m worried that I will never catch up. After all, I’m a twenty-six-year-old who still struggles to make ends meet and who’s failed to find work in the field they studied for so many years. I can’t help but notice that those younger than me have oftentimes already succeeded in the above. And that’s where I need to remind myself that while others were working towards their goals, I was busy surviving; in my childhood as much as in my teenage years, during early adulthood, and in my mid-twenties. Every year brought new battles that required my undivided attention, thereby pushing everything else into the background. Now, I’m learning to admit my own faults and self-sabotage while recognising what was out of my control; to allow myself to feel the grief that comes with it; to forgive myself for not being as successful as society expects me to be.

After all, we need to recognise that everyone should formulate their own definition of success — one that’s not influenced by what others have to say but rather focused on our own wants and needs. For one, it might be winning a Nobel Prize in literature, while for someone else, publishing their poems on Substack, writing two sentences of an essay, or getting out of bed to stare at a blank page for hours on end. Success isn’t comparable because human experience isn’t comparable. Each of us has our own story and carries a different load of struggles; therefore, the expectations we put upon ourselves need to be adjusted appropriately.

At the end of the day, doing your best doesn’t have to be good. As in the name, it’s your best. Your progress. Your rules. So if you want to write a poem, do it and don’t compare it to the work of someone who has been doing it for years. And if you don’t get past the first stanza, at least give yourself credit for the few verses that you wrote. If you sign up for a gym and don't see the results within the first few weeks, don’t give up because you’re not seeing progress; instead, realise that you need to get to know your body and what it needs from you first. Or if you want to go vegan but don’t think you can give up cheese, go vegan apart from the cheese. You have still spared so many animals from suffering.

It’s not easy not to see yourself through the prism of other people’s expectations; to resist societal pressure to be successful; to celebrate little victories of your everyday life instead of letting the societal pressure to be successful dictate what your best should be. It’s not easy, but it’s also not impossible, and it’s everyone’s responsibility towards themselves to figure it out. Let yourself fail.